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about
The impending “coming out” conversation with a loved one, in particular, a father. Being the only AFAB child of a father, knowing how much of my identity rests in this for my father. Wondering if this is the case for more people in my life, those who I thought were on my page, ignoring my gender completely because ultimately my gender is everything it could possibly be, and therefore, it’s nothing. In this struggle is the realization that, if I’m unable to share this crucial part of myself, my gender queerness/fluidity, I will watch my life go on without me. And the desperation to make sure this doesn’t happen. Knowing that I’m the only one holding myself back.
lyrics
What would you say if I told you
I’m not the woman that you think I am
What would you say if I told you
I’m not a woman at all
Am I late to my own party
Swore I saw my future staring right back out at me
Cut a path right through the room I couldn’t let her leave
Not without me, not without me
What would you say if I told you
I’m not the woman that you think I am
What would you say if I told you
I’m not a woman at all
I’m convinced there’s just one answer
Yeah that there’s just one savior
Yeah there’s just one master key
That I can use to open every door that’s locked in front of me
You can’t leave, I’ll never let you leave
Not without me, not without me, not without me, not without me
Not without me, not without me, not without me, not without me
Not without me, not without me, not without me, not without me
credits
released June 7, 2022
Produced by Andy Stack & Lizdelise
Mixed by Mark Watter
Engineered by Andy Stack
Additional Engineering by Saman Khoujinian & Mark Watter
Performed/Written by Lizdelise
Additional Programming by Andy Stack
Recorded at Betty’s in Chapel Hill, NC
Mastered by Sarah Register
Album cover design by Daniel Murphy
Album cover photo by Brooke Marsh
Elizabeth de Lise: Vocals, Guitar, Synth Bass
Mark Watter: Bass
Alyssa Resh: Drums / Percussion
Elizabeth de Lise & Andy Stack: Synth Programming
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