The power of anniversaries of someone’s death. Without realizing it, I’m thrown into the grief of my friend’s death, something that happened over 15 years ago. Somehow never fully learning that I will never get rid of this grief, and that it’s going to be a part of me forever. His death, the suddenness, the strangeness, the time in my life– it’s all shaped who I am as a person and especially as an artist. My fixation with death and dying. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve written about him in a dialogue, speaking directly to him, and letting myself be angry and annoyed. Feeling tired of hearing myself talk about him, even think about him, or think about the experience itself. Because, over this number of years, it becomes less and less about him and who he was, and more about the experience of living in the wake of the tragedy.
lyrics
How dare you barge in like this, midnight on a Tuesday
There’s got to be a better place
for you to be
Than here in my way
Everybody’s sick of me talking about your charms
I can’t help it
we were sixteen
I can still feel you in my arms
I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you
I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you
The air in here is thin tonight, I swore I heard you laughing
Why was it not me but you, i’m a sucker for even asking
I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you
I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you
I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you
I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you
I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you
I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you
credits
from I Swore I Heard You Laughing,
released September 15, 2023
Elizabeth de Lise: Vocals, Guitar, Piano
Alyssa Resh: Drums
Andy Stack: Synth Bass, Piano
Elizabeth de Lise & Andy Stack: Synth Programming
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