I wrote “shadow” during lockdown, the first time in a long time that I sat still and looked at hard stuff. It started with a vocal loop and drum machine. It’s about moving through the world trying to make myself small and smooth— desirable to cis-men. I finally knew I had the power and was ready to release myself. The video for “shadow” is a beacon of my queer identity: silly, gross, strong, sexy, and limitless.
lyrics
Is it my job to hold you
when you’re angry at the world
Is it my job to see you
even though you’ll only ever see me as a little girl
Just some kid who should stay quiet
You liked me a whole lot better when I didn’t have opinions
How can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing old
can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing…
The moments of lucidity I witness in you sting
Or Maybe I got it backwards
it’s the shadow, not the real you, to which I cling
Or Maybe there’s no separation there at all
I Just to hate to think that this has been you all along
How can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing old
can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing
How can it be possible that i’m no more than something growing old
can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing
Old
How can it be
I’m no more than something growing old
I’m no more than something growing old
How can it be
I’m no more than something growing old
How can it be
credits
from I Swore I Heard You Laughing,
released September 15, 2023
Elizabeth de Lise: Vocals, Guitar, Vocal Looping
Mark Watter: Bass
Alyssa Resh: Drums / Percussion
Andy Stack: Synth Bass, Guitar
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